Saturday, March 21, 2009

what would you do? Please help!

Yesterday my daughters report card came home this is what it said under personal management:
Avery is a wonderful kid, she is funny, helpful and bright. Lately Avery seems to be having more conflicts than usual when working in group settings. Consistently, the groups she works in complain of fairness issues. I would like to see Avery developing some age-appropriate humility and cooperativeness by letting others go first, giving others a chance to speak and allowing people to share in control of group projects. This is an essential life skill.
I also found out why the little girl Melissa that I babysit has not wanted to come all last week. Because Avery is mean and always bossing her around. This problem with Avery is not new, she has always been this way and I have always struggled to make her share and be nice. It is now affecting school and me babysitting. I love my daughter very much but I am building resentment towards her behavior. I don't know how much if any of this is normal. I also don't know how to turn it around. She is very compassionate, I know she has a nice streak in her somewhere. I put her in girl scouts 3 years ago hoping it would help. I also have her very involved in church and all activities hoping that will help. I am very nice and kind to people. Melissa's mom says Avery has a strong leadership personality and just needs to refocus her strong will. Any advice or suggestions from you all will be greatly appreciated.


The Mind of a Mom said...

Hey Dana

She is just acting out what she is feeling, she has mom telling her what to do, older brother telling her what to do, dad telling her what to do. So she is feeling the need to tell someone what to do. You need to give her some responsibility. Something that is age appropriate and "fun" so she will feel that control feeling. I know it is hard because you are with the kids a lot by yourself and she does have activities but it needs to be something that makes her feel like she is in charge. I am sure it will help her redirect her feelings and entry into a positive thing. Good Luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you

Celticspirit said...

I agree with Mind of a Mom. Another thought I had, do you think she resents her Dad being gone so much? This may play a part in it. It's almost like you are a single parent with Justin being gone most of the time.